i can't find the cord that connects my camera to my computer, and though i see cords all around me, they're all so specific. why? why can't we have one cord that connects everything to everything? what's the use of all these different heads and tails?

but the point is the gallery opening was a huge high. i didn't feel my feet hurt until much too late, so lit i felt. it made me want to have more shows, just to get this feeling again. i doubt humans a little too much sometimes, and last night they came through. people looked at my work and came back to look at it again. they put their glasses on and toured the wall more thoroughly than even i did. they were complimentary to each other and to my face. and it was just so fun to get dressed up and drink wine and eat cheese and celebrate. it felt authentic. it's hard to tell when i'm in that high space if compliments are real or not, but they felt real, which is all i care at the moment. and there were a thousand people there, so it was loud and overwhelming and hot, and a lot of the people were artists who were more interesting to look at than the art and standing in front of the art anyway. time disappeared. and everyone drank too much and spoke so freely. i tend to enter big events like this and get caught up in the beauty of the moment and then the next day regret this or that, but this morning no regrets.

i was busy and steve was downtown last week and decided to buy me some dresses i could try on (yes, it's true, he's that good), and the one we chose was this greenish dress i wore last night with a brown necklace. the color is chamomile, and that word fits the color perfectly. i look like i should spout italian when i put it on, but no, only english. nevermind, i'll wear it in italy as soon as i graduate and fly there and never come back and have babies there who grow up speaking italian in lavender fields.